Two Birds with One Stone
by thats absurd.I LOVE IT
Summary: When Kyohei defiles Ranmaru's 'precious' body, he comes up with an ingenious plan. Now he can matchmake Kyohei and Sunako together AND get his revenge! Killing two birds with one stone...


I do NOT own Wallflower/Perfect Girl Evolution/Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge/Sunako of Many Forms/My Fair Lady/ヤマトナデシコ七変化. As much as I'd want to, if I did, you readers would probably only get a chapter every six months or something…now I feel guilty.

**Two Birds with One Stone**

"Huh? Ranmaru, what's this? And what the hell are you doing?" Reaching over Yuki, Ranmaru grabbed something from the coffee table, then spun around and continued his inaudible mutterings.

"Look into the…shrimp? Hey! What happened to my pendulum! Give it back Yuki!"

"Oh, so it's a pendulum! I thought it was a nut on a string…"

"Who took my shrimp? I'LL KILL THE BASTARD WHO ATE MY SHRIMP!" Ranmaru paled.

"Uhoh, looks like someone's out to kill you Ranmaru," Yuki commented.

In a feeble attempt to protect his perfect face, Ranmaru tried to reason with the angry teenager. "Kyohei, you know that I didn't steal your shrimp on purpose right? Remember, I'm one of your precious best-UGH"

Ignoring him, Kyohei lunged for the shrimp, kicking Ranmaru hard in the gut while neatly catching the deep fried prawn in his mouth.

"Ahh, yummy." Kyohei smiled, rubbing his stomach contentedly before exiting the room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*later that night~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ranmaru stomped up to his room, fuming. "That damn bastard! Does he even know how much my body is worth? Without this work of art, I could never have gotten all those precious little kitties that I have now! Ahhh, my kitties. Sachiko, Eri, Yuki, Hanako…"

With that, Ranmaru went off into the little fantasy land in his brain, remembering and exaggerating all the erotic things he had done to the females in question. "Oh, and that time was so good too…oh, but after this ordeal is over, I'll show her some even better things! …Wait, ordeal?"

Ranmaru was jolted out of his former thought process with that remark, and remembered what all those 'Hypnotising for dummies' and 'Hypnotism, you can do it!' books were for.

An amazing idea came to his mind, and he smirked. "Hehehe, now I can hook them up and get my revenge at the same time! I'll be hitting two birds with one stone! All I need is some help…Mwahahaha!" Totally uncharacteristic of Ranmaru, he evil-laughed, loving how it felt on his tongue. Maybe he'd start doing it more…

"So, you got it?" Ranmaru whispered to Yuki and Takanega. "Umm, yeah, but isn't this just revenge for what happened this afternoon?" "I MAY GET A BRUISE ON MY FLAWLESS SKIN BECAUSE OF THAT NITWIT, but no, this is purely for the development of Sunako and Kyohei's relationship. Can't you see that?"

"Oh yeah, I sure can see how this will develop their relationship!" Takanega muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Shaddup!" Ranmaru shot back before shooing them into their positions.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*In Sunakos Room~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Now Sunako, you have been cleaning Hiroshi, and Kyohei has stolen him and put him into the basement. What should you do?" cooed Ranmaru.

"Kill him," Sunako immediately responded in her trance.

"Uhh, no. You should go into the basement and get Hiroshi back, before he gets all mouldy. Now go get Hiroshi from the basement Sunako." Without a word, Sunako got up from her bed and walked out of the room, headed for the basement. Ranmaru smirked evilly before rushing towards Kyohei's room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*In Kyohei's room~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Kyohei, she's trying to steal it from you, she's trying to steal your shrimp!"

"WHO?! I'LL KILL THEM!"

Ranmaru shivered. Though it was Sunako, would she be able to stand up to this fighting machine, even when it was about some mere shrimp? Realising what he had just thought, Ranmaru focused on the task at hand. After all, if Sunako couldn't stand up to demon-lord Kyohei, then they obviously wouldn't be suited for eachother! 'And anyways, Kyohei deserves to be locked up in the dark, damp, mouldy room, seeing as how he defiled my beautiful body.'

"Never mind about that Kyohei, what's most important is to get the shrimp back! It's been hidden in the basement."

"The BASEMENT?! They dare keep my precious shrimp in the BASEMENT!?" Kyohei stomped out of the room towards Sunako.

Ranmaru sighed in relief. The hard bit of his ingenious plan was finally over. Soon his hard earned matchmaking attempts would come to fruition. Not to mention, his retribution too. Smirking, he headed towards the basement.

Reaching the daunting door to the basement, Ranmaru sighted Yuki and Takanega. Yuki was fiddling with his fingers, looking quite nervous while Takanega locked the door, looking bemused and slightly bored.

"So, did everything go to plan?" Ranmaru queried.

"Yeah, except… S-Sunako looked really determined and Kyohei looked seriously s-scary. Just what exactly did you say to them?" Yuki queried, his voice shaking slightly.

"Eh, nothing much. Don't worry, they'll cool down eventually."

"Eventually?" Takanega questioned, one eyebrow raised.

After Ranmaru had somewhat calmed down Yuki and reassured Takanega, (to the point where that damned eyebrow sunk back to its normal position) he led them to the living room. There, lying in await, was the TV. Ranmaru turned it on and fiddled around with the controls for awhile, until he came to what he was looking for. He turned around, looking smug and full of himself as the TV showed live visuals of the basement, from multiple webcams placed strategically around the room.

"Hehe, now we can watch them in action!" Ranmaru cried gleefully, grabbing for some popcorn.

"Wait, so first you wake us up in the middle of the night for some hair brained scheme, you hypnotise them, and then we watch them fighting eachother and then getting it on after they realise that they love eachother and that they are locked in the room?" Takanega voiced, sounding somewhat breathless from saying the whole sentence in one breath while trying to sound smug.

"Yeah, of cour- WHAT? How'd you know that I hypnotised them?"

Yuki spoke up for the first time since outside the basement. "Well Ranmaru, it was kinda obvious. After all, you were learning hypnotism just before this whole 'ingenious' plan of yours, Kyohei did kick you this afternoon, and we all know how much you value your body, and Sunako and Kyohei looked pretty out of it when we saw them stalk into the basement. The pieces all fit together when Takanega remembered how creepy you sounded when we heard you laughing from your room."

Ranmaru glanced in Takanega's direction and saw him looking decidedly haughty. 'Damn, they heard me?! I knew that whole evil-laughing thing was bad for me! It'll totally ruin my image!'

Ranmaru shrugged off Takanega's question, deciding instead to fall somewhat ungracefully onto the couch. "Uggh, never mind, lets just watch this thing. It's bound to be good." He turned up the volume, and Yuki and Takanega sat down.

If those three had bothered to look at the screen while they were discussing Ranmaru's motives for the whole scheme, they would have seen something very interesting. While they were talking, Kyohei and Sunako had been crouching in the far-left corner of the room, muttering to eachother.

"Heh! That idiot actually fell for it! There's no way that I'd EVER be hypnotised! Hahaha! What a moron!" Kyohei threw back his head and laughed heartily, looking extremely ungraceful with his legs splayed.

"He told me that Hiroshi was in here when I could see him right behind the bright creature while he was talking. And he actually thought that I would believe him too, a blinding creature!"

"Seems like his hypnotism skills aren't all what he thought they would crack up to be!"

"Yeah, but it was still pretty lucky that I heard him talking about his plan when I walked past his room. You should be happy that I told a bright creature like you about it!"

Suddenly, a thought came to Sunakos head. 'Why exactly did I tell him about the plan? It's not as if I like him or anything…But now that I think about it, even though I call him a blinding creature, I can look at Kyohei without getting a nosebleed now. His face is actually quite beaut-ugh! What am I thinking! Since when did I think of his face as…beautiful? And since when did I call him by his first name?! I seriously need to talk to Hiroshi and the others about this, after we get out of this place…ooh! All the mould and mildew, the basement is so pretty! I wonder if there are any skeletons in here!'

"Eh, whatever. Let's just get out of this hell-hole. It's starting to creep me out. You have the key, right?"

Sunako was shaken out of her stupor. "Huh what? Key? No, I thought you had it."

"WHAT?! But I told you to take it!" Kyohei was positively furious, and in anger shouted out "You stupid, ugly girl!"

He immediately realised his mistake, but didn't expect her reaction. Instead of getting all sad and depressed, Sunako became crazed.

With a perfect roundhouse kick flying in the air she screamed "UGLY?! How dare you call me ugly you disgustingly bright creature!" Her roundhouse kick connected with Kyohei's chin, sending him flying.

His body going into instinct mode, Kyohei was quick to retaliate. Soon both Kyohei and Sunako's bodies were reduced to mere blurs, attacking and dodging with such speed that they were a haze to the human eye.

But one thing was clear in both the fighters' minds. After all this was over and they were let out, they were going to murder Ranmaru. The bloodier, the better.

* * *

Heh, I really didn't have much in mind when I first started this one. I just let my imagination run, and whenever I could be bothered I spent 10 minutes or so writing it. So this was kinda my side project…If you can really call it that. Since I really didn't know where this plot was going, it's not really a surprise that it turned out so short…I'm actually kinda surprised that it isn't shorter!

Oh, and if this sounds like I'm Takanega or Ranmaru bashing then I'm not! I love them all, ALL! I just have really bad characterisation (haha, yeah that's right; I'm Aussie, so no 'z'!) skills, that's all. Sorry that it's really random, and I apologise for any grammar or shpelling mistakeds. =D Please tell me what you think about it, or I'll get all depressed. Like this T_T (i.e. send in a review!)


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